In Vancouver last week with Lifeway church program and met a new fan one night by the name of Patsy. Her story reminded me of another friend named Patsy and not just from the sharing of the name. Her husband passed 2 years ago from prostate cancer.

She told me that when I sang Casting Crown’s “Who Am I” it reminded her of one of her last conversations with her husband, Terrence. She shared with me that when her husband’s prostate cancer was being treated and it passed beyond treatment, Terrence began to question “Who Am I” and what his purpose on life was. Patsy said that Terrence changed and lived his final 8 months on Earth a better husband and better father to their son Jared.

We travel on our Earthly journey often seeking answers and more often not really knowing what our purpose is or who we really are until “sometimes” when it’s too late.

I thank God for allowing me to do what I do and to touch people’s lives.

As it began to dawn on the first day of the week, the crowds of people from far and near who had come to Jerusalem for the observance of the Feast of the Passover, made preparation for the return journey homeward.

Very early that morning while it was still dark, two women, Mary Magdalene and another person known as “the other Mary”, went to the tomb of Jesus with the traditional spices to anoint his body in accordance with local custom.

What they found when they arrived at the tomb left the two women “trembling and bewildered.”

As they made their way through the dark, narrow streets of Jerusalem, they pondered a profoundly troubling question: “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance to the tomb?”

When they arrived at the tomb, they were surprised; the massive stone placed in front of the tomb to seal it had been rolled away. The tomb in which the body of Jesus had been placed was empty, and the body they had come to anoint was not there.

The guards, posted by Roman authorities to secure the tomb, were “like dead men,” and suddenly two men dressed “in clothes that gleamed like lightening” appeared and spoke to them in a reassuring way.

A look inside the tomb was revealing.

The grave clothes were there, and the linen, some call it a napkin, that had been around Jesus’ head was neatly folded by itself and “separate from the linen,” a use of common social etiquette to give everyone who saw it a powerful message, “I am not finished.”

For a moment, Mary Magdalene stood outside the tomb. Overcome with fear and emotion, she cried. But crying was not for long.

Someone she took to be the gardener spoke: “Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Then, Jesus said, “Mary.”

At once, she knew! Turning to him, she cried out, “Rabboni.”

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”
–Isaiah 9:6

God’s Descent

A young woman named Mary was engaged to Joseph from King David’s family. Before they were married, she learned that she was going to have a baby by God’s Holy Spirit. The angel Gabriel greeted Mary and said, “You are truly blessed! The Lord is with you.” Then the angel told Mary, “Don’t be afraid! God is pleased with you, and you will have a son. His name will be Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of God Most High. The Lord God will make him king, as his ancestor David was. He will rule the people of Israel forever, and his kingdom will never end.”

Mary asked the angel, “How can this happen? I am not married!”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come down to you, and God’s power will come over you. So your child will be called the holy Son of God… nothing is impossible for God!”

At that moment, Mary knew her life and reputation were ruined. What was her reply?

Mary said, “I am the Lord’s servant! Let it happen as you have said.”

Joseph was a good man and did not want to embarrass Mary in front of everyone. So he decided to call off the wedding. While Joseph was thinking about this, an angel from the Lord came to him in a dream. The angel said, “Joseph, the baby that Mary will have is from the Holy Spirit. Go ahead and marry her. Then after her baby is born, name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Mary was engaged to Joseph and traveled with him to Bethlehem. She was soon going to have a baby, and while they were there, she gave birth to her first-born son. She dressed him in baby clothes and laid him on a bed of hay, because there was no room for them in the inn.

In his Jewish history, Josephus wrote: “I found a geneology of Jesus in Jerusalem. Jesus was the illegitimate son, of an unfaithful woman”. Even during the time of Jesus ministry, when in his 30s, some Jews still mocked him, “We were not born from adultery”.

Through a shamefully pregnancy and a birth in poverty, God came into the world.

From the Koine Greek used in Scripture, Mary was a ‘very young girl’; probably fourteen or fifteen. She is in labor, in a strange town, with no place to have her baby. At last, they find a cave used to shelter and feed livestock. Joseph has to move animals out of the way so Mary has a room on the floor. Imagine the environment. Close, cramped quarters, filled with smell and sounds of livestock. Then, Mary’s travail; not much in the way of anesthetics back then. I imagine her cries of pain filling the cave. Then, rejoicing! Our Savior is born.

That night in the fields near Bethlehem some shepherds were guarding their sheep. All at once an angel came down to them from the Lord, and the brightness of the Lord’s glory flashed around them. The shepherds were frightened. But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid! I have good news for you, which will make everyone happy. This very day in King David’s hometown a Savior was born for you. He is Christ the Lord. You will know who he is, because you will find him dressed in baby clothes and lying in a bed of hay.”

Did angels descend from heaven and announce the Saviors birth to the kings, the influential, the aristocracy or even the high priests of the Temple? The angels announced the King’s birth to the shepherds in the field. The lowest caste in Jewish society.

Suddenly many other angels came down from heaven and joined in praising God. They said:

“Praise God in heaven!
Peace on earth to everyone who pleases God.”

This is a post of an email from Pastor Alan Garren from December 21, 2009.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU

—
Hello everyone,

I staggered across this video documentary this morning, and it has shown me the alarming results of what I have known for years. I believe that you should take 7 minutes of your time this morning and view this video. If it does not awaken you to the reality of what is taking place in not only America, But the entire planet, then I would pray that the Lord shakes you from your sleep.

PLEASE WATCH THEN CONTINUE READING.

We have slept while others are rising….It is no wonder the prophetic words that many of the Pastors have heard from me has been hitting on Islam recently….

We must come together as the Kingdom of God NOW…REVIVAL must begin NOW throughout this Central valley and the planet… Pray that the flesh (soul) of your bones obeys the call to unity of the Kingdom!….

I believe that this is where we are in time , I also believe that we will see much more prior to the return of our Lord, it is critical for us to awake….OH but the urgency I feel….

Matt 13:35

35 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, I will open my mouth in parables; I will utter things which have been kept secret from the foundation of the world.

Matt 13:24-27

24 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field: 25 But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. 26 But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also. 27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? 28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up? 29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

Matt 13:37-40

37 He answered and said unto them, He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; 38 The field is the world; the good seed are the children of the kingdom; but the tares are the children of the wicked one; 39 The enemy that sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the world; and the reapers are the angels. 40 As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world.

I will be holding a special dinner meeting in the upcoming month/year for Church leaders and Pastors, Prophets, Apostles, Evangelists, Teachers, As I believe that this meeting is the will of the Lord and I believe I have heard from the Lord on this.

It will be in the Modesto area, and once I confirm Location and time I will email with the details. Please R.S.V.P. Now if you are going to plan to attend. So that I might get a feel for the approximate number of attendees. It will most likely be on a Saturday night approximately 5:30pm – 7:30 AGAIN PLEASE R.S.V.P.
by email now. I am shooting for the 17th of January.

I leave you with this scripture

John 4:35-38

35 You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe* for harvest. 36 The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! 37 You
know the saying, ‘One plants and another harvests.’ And it’s true. 38 I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and now you will get to gather the harvest.” NLT

Blessings,

Pastor Alan
Master’s Touch World Ministries
Founder/President
P.O. Box 205
Escalon, Ca 95320

I believe it’s important to tell the whole truth of who we were before Jesus. I am in no way glorifying my past. Just being very honest about where I came from. I pray my testimony gives hope to the hopeless.

My earliest memories are full of humiliation, confusion, rejection and anger. When I was 5 we moved to Manteca, CA from the bay area. It was a very big change. At such an early age I didn’t understand why the people were so different. Later I realized that it was a neighborhood heavily infested with meth. The kids knew way too much and were quick to teach me. I was abused in various ways countless times by the older kids in the neighborhood, and when I wasn’t being hurt, I was robbed for my stuff. I used to let kids just take off with my stuff because I knew I really had no choice.

Around that time I started having night terrors. Terrible, demonic dreams that left me paralyzed with fear in my bed. I would wake up screaming nearly every night from the time I was 6 until I was around 11. CPS came to my house because the neighbors thought someone was beating me. I made my mom sleep with me all the time and there was never a peaceful night in our house.

I became a very fearful, unhappy, angry child. I was exposed to way too much way too early and it made me insecure and ashamed. I started hating school, and getting into trouble. In 4th grade I was expelled for the first time.

I had experiences with the Lord from a very early age and was filled with the Holy Spirit. I began walking in an evangelistic calling at around 8. I have a memory of leading a teenager to Jesus and I remember hearing songs about Jesus that my mom would play, and I would cry with compassion over what Jesus went through for me. But the enemy attacked early to knock me off course.

I know when I think back that the Lord was with me. When I was 5 I almost lost my life in a car accident, when I went flying head first towards the front wind shield from the back seat. My mom caught me by my leg or I would have went through it. At age 9 I was at the lake with some friends. One of them drifted out too far and started drowning. So I reached for him and he panicked and pushed me into the deep water and I remember being under the water for a long time. I didn’t know how far under I was. I just knew I was going to die. I remember thinking “Jesus!! Jesus!! Jesus!!” And the third time I called on his name I felt my left hand grab something. It was a branch that was hanging into the water from a nearby tree. I pulled myself up with it and it kept me from drowning. I truly believe that was divine intervention from the Lord! At 14 I climbed a bridge over a lake that was a train track. I was right in the middle of the bridge when I heard the train horn. I was too scared to jump and too far to run back where I came so I froze. I leaned against the small wire fence that bordered the tracks and the train passed inches from my body. I was with a friend and I remember her yelling for me to duck, and I look and a huge metal wire was hanging out from one of the boxcars and it nearly cut our heads off.

In junior high I was a nobody at school and home. I would make people laugh all the time and act like a fool when I was dying inside. I went to church but I didn’t have anyone to really guide me and walk with me. I saw a lot of hypocrisy and was even treated bad at church so I quit going. I saw church as a place a bunch of stuck up people met up to act Holy and socialize.

My home life was unhappy and there was a lot of strife between my parents and I tried to stay away from home as much as I could. I used to pray that they would divorce just so they could stop hating each other.

One day at school this really popular chick started in on me. She was pretty much punking me. I was used to that whole situation. But something different happened inside me. The more she talked and the more kids that gathered, the more angry I got. I was so tired of being me. I didn’t care what happened anymore. She pushed me and I lost it. All those years of humiliation had gotten to me. I beat her down. And that was the beginning of the change. I remember walking into class after it was over and my whole body was shaking. People’s jaws were to the floor. Like “Did Dana just really do that!” Some kids laughed and was like “good job!” Now I had a new way to handle things and got much attention for my newfound rage. By 8th grade I was expelled for fighting. It became a hobby to practice. Something to invest time and effort into. I was good at it and it made me somebody (I thought) . My friends changed, I started messing with gangs and drugs. It got pretty bad we moved to a new city after the gang unit had come to my house asking my mom questions because of some violent acts that had happened. I ran away all the time. Went from place to place, just worried about my “homies”, didn’t care about my family anymore. I felt they didn’t understand me and didn’t accept me. I figured I could make my own family. I took pride in being fearless on the outside. I would fight anyone, men, women,, even groups of people. The more ruthless I became the more I was impressed with myself. I invited a murderous spirit in my life daily. Anger felt better than humiliation. But on the inside I was a coward. I would run from emotions, responsibility, etc.

At 15 I went to my first keg party and was raped there while my “home girl” sat in the next room with some dude she just met. I know she heard me yelling. Years later I found out that guy and his homies had a bet going as to who could get the most virgins. Last I heard he was on the run for doing the same thing to a 14 year old girl. At 15 I also began using meth. My best friends parents were dealers so we got all we could handle. I was also put in a mental hospital after I had swallowed a bottle of pills and went and got into a brawl right after. I was on medication for years. All I did was mix it with street drugs and it made me more numb and heartless than before. I remember one time I laid in my home girls bed for 2 days convulsing and hyperventilating from an overdose and I refused to let them call an ambulance.

At 16 a rival attempted to stab me with so much force that it would have gutted me like a fish, but the Lord made my reflexes quick, despite me being sloppy drunk and I walked away with a small cut, and a torn shirt. At 18 I was set up and forced to fight 6 females. I did my best but was outnumbered. The last thing I remembered was looking up and seeing a 40 bottle headed right for my head. I remember the strange hollow thud sound it made as it met with my skull over and over. When I woke up, it was daylight, everyone was gone and I was laying in a puddle of my own blood. I was bleeding from so many places. Blood all over my shoes and shirt, my face and hair. I got up and could barely walk. I had almost made it to my homegirls house when an ambulance, police car, and fire truck all surrounded me. Someone had called them seeing me stumble down the street I guess. I wouldn’t let them take me at first. I thought I was too tough to need help. Then they pressed a white towel against my face and when they pulled it away I saw so much blood that it scared me. So I went to the Emergency room. Later on I found out that one of those girls was supposed to have stabbed me that night as part of a gang initiation. But she refused. As a result she was beaten by her own people. My mom didn’t get any sleep that night because people had been calling her saying they were going to leave me for dead on the train tracks. (Which were right by our house) So every time a train passed my mom was terrified that I was under it.

I remember one night I was in an orchard with some friends. I wandered off by myself, drunk, lonely and hopeless. I climbed up into this huge well and I tested God. I lifted myself in and out of this deep well, one hand on each side, tempting death, asking the Lord if he cared about me.

When I was 18 I also met my sons dad. My first love. I fell way too fast and thought he did too. The Lord gave me a warning in a dream and a vision about this man but I fell deep into the relationship anyway. 3 months later I was pregnant. I spent my pregnancy miserable and desperate. I would cry myself to sleep because he would stay out all night with his people. When he would come home we would box and we gave each other many black eyes and bloody noses. I remember tracking him down at a friends. I was 6 months pregnant running up on carloads of people just swinging on my man out of sheer pain. I was so co-dependent it was crazy. I wouldn’t let him go for nothing. During one of our fights the cops came. And they told me to let him leave. I went crazy and caught a case for battery on a peace officer and went to jail. So there I was, with a newborn baby, doing AWP because I couldn’t spend time in jail as a new mother.

I would leave him hundreds of times in an 8-year span, but always took him back. I wanted to be loyal, I thought my love could change things, change him. But I only enabled him to keep living crazy. I supported his drug habit. Then formed my own. We lived on welfare for years. He couldn’t hold a job, either could I. We were both hopeless and empty inside. I remember him holding a gun to my head one day all gone off that dope. No matter how much anyone tried to help us, we could never leave our mentality behind and look higher.

I remember seeking the Lord a few times during those years. I heard the Lord urging me to leave him. I knew as long as I stayed I would never submit my life to God fully. But I was so mad at God. I asked him why he would ask me to leave my man when he was supposed to be make families better, not tear them apart. So I would reach out to God, but chose my man over his leading, time after time.

I was put in the mental hospital again, (diagnosed with homicidal tendencies) this time I committed myself after I had beat a friend up and stabbed her in the face.

I was heavily addicted to pain pills (vicodin and morphine) and as long as he let me have my habit, I let him have his (meth). By now our son was older and starting to display social problems. He didn’t know how to talk to people, because all his mommy and daddy did was cuss and yell and hit each other. And he didn’t know what a loving environment was, only chaos.

I left my son’s dad for about a month because of his meth use and cheating. But what’s ironic is I began using meth again while we were apart. I ran into old friends. And when I was wired I didn’t feel the pain so much of being alone. I started doing crazy things, I was convinced I was bi-sexual at that time. I was just confused. I knew he was slanging so I called him one day to get some dope, and he came over. And we reunited. And became heavily involved in the whole dope scene. I became very cold and ruthless to everyone, but my son’s dad and I were like Bonnie and Clyde now. At first that dope made us feel so close. He quit leaving me all the time because he didn’t have to live a double life anymore. He was heavily into pornography and I became involved too. So he quit cheating on me for awhile. He gave up his homies because he knew I was more “down” (deceived about the meaning of loyalty) than any of them. I wanted to be loved by him so bad that I would lie to myself constantly just so I could bare the abuse and lies. He knew I would die for him. I remember we were at the dope spot getting into our car one day and two guys ran up on his window and one had a gun in his waist. With no hesitation I jumped out of the car, unarmed and got in the dude’s face. I was going to have him shoot me instead of see my man get killed in front of me. That’s another time I knew the Lord was with me. Because those guys didn’t do anything to us.

We isolated our self from regular people and hung around other addicts. We lost everything. Almost lost our son. I remember one Christmas we spent in a drug house, smoking dope with 10 other people! That was a very low time. Our family took Lino for Christmas but we weren’t invited because we were out of our mind.

One night I found out about him cheating on me and pulled a knife on him, when I saw the scared look on his face I turned it on myself. The betrayal was too much, I stabbed myself twice in the belly. I was hospitalized and less than a millimeter away from piercing my intestines, which would have poisoned me and killed me. I have 2 ugly scars to remind me how God saved my life yet again.

A few weeks after that I remember being in a drug infested motel fighting with my man. I had told him that it was over. And something evil took over him. I looked into his eyes and saw something else there. He told me “I’m going to finish the job” (talking about how I had almost killed myself before) and he took out a knife and starting jabbing it towards me right where my belly had barely begin healing up.

He then raped me at knifepoint. He was telling me when it was over he was going to kill us both and if I screamed he would kill me now. I believed him with all my heart. I saw the murder in his eyes. I was pleading with him and nothing worked. Finally out of desperation I pressed my head into the knife. Hoping once he saw blood he would snap out of it. It worked. The side of my head dripped blood and he jumped off me and went crazy, crying saying he was sorry. Whatever had taken over him had suddenly left. But the next night it came back. And my son woke up to his father on top of his mother socking her in the face. I told him he was dreaming and to go back to sleep. Awhile after that he had witnessed his dad come at me with a hatchet. I was able to roll out of the way and he split a hole down the middle of our bed instead. I remember rolling around on the bed with Lino’s dad, fighting, and looking to the side to see my little boy frantically hiding the hatchet in the bathroom so we couldn’t use it on each other. I will never forget the somber look on my sons face as he told me “Mommy, I feel violence in my tummy.” That’s a 5 year old discerning a spirit of murder. Another time I lost control and ran at my man with a kitchen knife. It was headed straight for his heart, thank God he turned and the knife plunged into his arm, and broke into 3 pieces. Right now he could be dead, I could be in prison and our son could be a ward of the state. Many other violent acts happened over the course of time. These things didn’t scare me enough to take my son and leave though. I was wrapped in a web of darkness.

We finally got clean. I was done with it. I wanted out. He lasted a little while but the addiction came back. I ended up getting knocked in the face and bleeding all over the place. I ended up in the hospital ER. After that, I used again. And shortly after that I left him. After 8 long years I left him for another man. My homeboy who at the time I felt was my savior. It was lust, not God‘s love. My son’s dad took Lino from me for 3 months out of revenge. I drank every day for those 3 months. I lived in an apartment with no electricity. I went days without eating. But as long as I was drunk and surrounded by people I could manage.

I was with the new man for about a month then it got bad. It seemed so comforting at first, but we were both straight out of a serious relationship and didn’t know how to even heal. So we hurt each other. I remember pinning him against the couch just punching him over and over in the face until his nose busted and bled. I was determined to never let another man make me feel weak again.

So I let him go. Got my son back. But I was a single mom for the first time and I couldn’t handle it. I was a coward. So I started doing dope again and taking off for days. Leaving Lino with my mom. I began to hate men and contemplated switching to women for good. I thought If I left men alone totally they could have no power over me, and I could be strong and protect my heart.

Then came the day the Lord snatched me up. I was riding the bus all over town, twacked out, going to all the homies houses, just wanting some comfort. I was overwhelmed with grief and guilt about my son. Why couldn’t I love him the right way? Why couldn’t I function normally in society? Why was I so violent and hopeless and dead inside?

With each place I went it got worse. I saw the same guilt and sorrow in my friend’s eyes. How could we help each other when we were all so lost? None of them knew the way out. But I did. I always had.

So I rode the bus home in tears. Wanting to die. I was already dead inside. I walked into the house and sat down at the kitchen table. I was totally broken, tired and desperate for change. I cried out to Jesus with all my heart. I gave up trying to be in control. I didn’t know how to do anything right and I needed someone to show me. So I asked God to raise me all over again like a child.

I am now becoming who the Lord created me to be! I’ve been made new and am learning to walk out my freedom. When I look in the mirror I don’t hate what I see. I can be responsible now. I’m a better mother, daughter, and sister. The darkness in my soul and eyes has been replaced with his Holy Spirit. God blessed me with real friends who will pray for me to show they got my back… not do dirt with me or cover for me but speak truth to me. A lot of people think you got to clean up your life before you reach for God. But I’m telling you the truth. That doesn’t work! Jail, rehabs, shrinks, medications, they don’t work you know why? Because Jesus is the one who changes us. So come to him just the way you are. Let him change you. You can stop doing certain habits or behaviors for awhile, but if your heart is still empty you will go back to the same behavior or replace it with something worse. Aren’t you tired of short-term satisfaction? You can fill your time and mind with what this world has to offer, but at the end of the day when you lay your head down, you know you’re empty and lost. Something’s missing.

The things you hate about yourself, God doesn’t even see that when he looks at you. When Jesus looks at you his eyes fill with tears because he truly loves you. No one can ever put ideas up in his head to make him change his mind about you or make him stop loving you. (unlike people!) When the Lord looks at you he doesn’t see all the bad. He sees you as the mighty woman or man of God he created you to be. Don’t you want to find out who you really are behind all the pain and anger and confusion? Realize that God is our father. A lot of times what we have experienced in a father is all bad. But the Lord is a real father. He can love you in ways no person ever could. He can fill you with peace, you don’t have to feel alone in life anymore. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. And he’s done all 3 of those things to you. From a very young age.

And all the junk we experience in this world causes our soul to be covered in these layers of shame, guilt, anger, sorrow. When we give the Lord our heart, he lovingly takes it in his hands and mends it. And the layers come off you one by one, and then you can see who you are truly mean to be! Then you can find the life that you were meant to have. Then failure and despair are no longer a part of you! If you want to experience the power and love of Jesus, know that you’re going to heaven, and be truly satisfied ask him into your heart. If you’re not sure what to say just repeat this out loud and with all your heart: Jesus, come into my heart, fill me with your spirit, make me new inside. Free me from every evil thing in my life. Teach me your ways so I can be who you created me to be. Show me who you really are. In the name of Jesus Amen. Now it’s time to get to know your savior. The way we get to know Jesus closely is through his Words (The Bible), prayer and being around other people who love the Lord. And if you need a friend hit me up. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.